Making Assumptions...

Most of us make some sort of assumptions about people in our lives.  We assume their actions are directly related to us, and we take things personally or defensively when we do this.  This one action causes us to create our own drama and pain.  But this is something we can eliminate, if we ask questions instead of assuming we know the answers.  Most times we will find, that their actions were not even remotely related to us.  They probably had absolutely nothing to do with us.  Ask the questions you need, to clarify the situation.  Once you begin doing this, you will find it gets easier each time.

Experience has taught me, that if I don't ask the questions...I tend to assume the wrong thing. Then I back off from said person, and only end up hurting them as well as myself.  And for what???  Absolutely nothing!  But this tends to be the natural human reaction, and one we learn from a young age.  Strip that assumption away, and you gain knowledge through your questions.  Knowledge about yourself, other people and then you learn how to head off all that pain you usually cause.

This may seem like a small topic, but it actually happens more than we realize.  If you pay close attention to it every day, you will find it happens in small ways quite often.  These assumptions may be small, but they lead us to make decisions incorrectly.  If you make this change, it will make life less painful for you.

Hugs!
Jennifer

Self-Love...

Many of us have heard we should treat others as we wish to be treated.  But today's post is about a different perspective.  How many of us are kinder to other people, than we are to our own self?  We can be our hardest critic, no?  Today I'm going to share my thoughts about being impeccable with your word.

Each of us have been conditioned from a young age, to learn right and wrong from parents, school, church, etc...  We were praised if we did the "right" thing, and reprimanded if we did the "wrong" thing.  Those ideas of what was right and wrong were not our own.  They were imprinted onto us from those that were trying to teach us.  This is good in many ways, because we learn to not touch the hot pan on the stove...we learn to look both ways before crossing the street...  

But what if you were told you were stupid for not getting good enough grades in school?  What if you were told you weren't smart enough to even get into college?  Those are not the right or wrong things we need to learn growing up, but rather someone's opinion.  As a child, those opinions are stated to us and tend to shape how we think about our own self.  That child grows up believing they're stupid, which shapes all their future thoughts about them-self.

Too often this occurs, and leads people to speak poorly about them-self.  How many of us have said, "I deserved it." when something bad happened?  How many of us have said, "It will fall apart and end eventually." when something good happens to us?  

The single most important thing we can do is treat our self with love and kindness.  Try changing your self talk, and telling yourself you love you.  Tell yourself that you are smart, kind, beautiful, etc...  This is the one way to begin feeling happiness in your life.  The way to begin feeling love in your life.  To begin feeling good, you need to believe you deserve that treatment from your own self first...and it will follow in the other areas of your life.

This is a long post, but it's been something I've struggled with my whole life.  I'm learning how to slowly change myself, and hope to inspire someone else to see this too.  I challenge you to let go of the opinions others have bestowed upon you, and form your own.  Make an agreement with yourself, that you will love you...just as you are...perfectly imperfect!!!

Hugs!

Jennifer

Let it go...

Today is a new day as well as a fresh start to the week.  A subject has been on my heart over the last few days, and I've done my own soul searching about letting go.  This is a very difficult thing for me to do, but one I've learned is quite necessary at times.  I tend to give people many more chances, forgiving them over & over...only to end up with the same results each time.  It's like listening to a record player skip the same part of the song endlessly.  I'm sure I'm not alone on this subject.  There have to be other people struggling with this too.

So...what do we do about it?

Do we allow the repeat pattern to continue?  Always afraid to make that necessary change, in order to stop the pattern?

I ran across this quote, which helped me turn my thoughts into something much clearer.

"Sometimes when you lose something, you start to realize you never really needed it in the first place.  Let it go.  Make room for something better."

This concept may be difficult to trust, when you've never seen the end result of letting go.  I can assure you...if  your heart is hurting because of the repeat patterns, then you must make something change.  You cannot change other people.  We have to accept them as they are.  But what else can change?  Me...You...only our own self can change.  We can learn to surround ourselves with people that will not hurt us repeatedly.  It's okay to love them from afar...and allow yourself to continue growing in the direction suited for your needs.

This is called self-love.  Love yourself and your own company first.  Then you don't "need" others' company, if you need to change that situation.  It will become your choice to have them in your life...not a necessity.

Hugs!
Jennifer

Dreams become reality...

Each of us is given the choice, to determine what direction our life goes.  No one else has the power to make you do something you don't want to do.  It's completely up to you.  So, don't let someone else direct your choices for you.  Hold your dreams closely to your heart, because what we think about is what we become.  Your dreams are important, and you have the power to go after them.  If you keep them close to your heart...you will think about them often.  They become reality one choice at a time.

Today, think about a dream that matters the most to you.  What is holding you back from achieving it?  If you want to run that 5k...begin taking small steps today towards achieving that dream.

No matter where you are in life, it's never too late to begin pursuing your dreams.  Believe in yourself enough...to take that first step towards that dream.  Write it down.  Say it out loud.  Let it happen.  Enjoy every moment it takes you to pursue that dream...and find yourself through the process.

Hugs!
Jennifer

Today is a new day...

Today is a new day, and I will view the field of dandelions as wishes.  I will plant my own garden & decorate my own soul, instead of waiting for someone to give me the flowers.  A dandelion is a flower, and its' blooms are there for us to enjoy their beauty.  My hope is for women to realize their own beauty, and follow their dreams.  My hope is to use this blog as a tool, to share what I learn along the way.  If it even helps one woman...my goal will be accomplished.

Here's to a new blog, and writing about my journey...missteps and all!  :)

Hugs!
Jennifer