Making Assumptions...

Most of us make some sort of assumptions about people in our lives.  We assume their actions are directly related to us, and we take things personally or defensively when we do this.  This one action causes us to create our own drama and pain.  But this is something we can eliminate, if we ask questions instead of assuming we know the answers.  Most times we will find, that their actions were not even remotely related to us.  They probably had absolutely nothing to do with us.  Ask the questions you need, to clarify the situation.  Once you begin doing this, you will find it gets easier each time.

Experience has taught me, that if I don't ask the questions...I tend to assume the wrong thing. Then I back off from said person, and only end up hurting them as well as myself.  And for what???  Absolutely nothing!  But this tends to be the natural human reaction, and one we learn from a young age.  Strip that assumption away, and you gain knowledge through your questions.  Knowledge about yourself, other people and then you learn how to head off all that pain you usually cause.

This may seem like a small topic, but it actually happens more than we realize.  If you pay close attention to it every day, you will find it happens in small ways quite often.  These assumptions may be small, but they lead us to make decisions incorrectly.  If you make this change, it will make life less painful for you.

Hugs!
Jennifer

Self-Love...

Many of us have heard we should treat others as we wish to be treated.  But today's post is about a different perspective.  How many of us are kinder to other people, than we are to our own self?  We can be our hardest critic, no?  Today I'm going to share my thoughts about being impeccable with your word.

Each of us have been conditioned from a young age, to learn right and wrong from parents, school, church, etc...  We were praised if we did the "right" thing, and reprimanded if we did the "wrong" thing.  Those ideas of what was right and wrong were not our own.  They were imprinted onto us from those that were trying to teach us.  This is good in many ways, because we learn to not touch the hot pan on the stove...we learn to look both ways before crossing the street...  

But what if you were told you were stupid for not getting good enough grades in school?  What if you were told you weren't smart enough to even get into college?  Those are not the right or wrong things we need to learn growing up, but rather someone's opinion.  As a child, those opinions are stated to us and tend to shape how we think about our own self.  That child grows up believing they're stupid, which shapes all their future thoughts about them-self.

Too often this occurs, and leads people to speak poorly about them-self.  How many of us have said, "I deserved it." when something bad happened?  How many of us have said, "It will fall apart and end eventually." when something good happens to us?  

The single most important thing we can do is treat our self with love and kindness.  Try changing your self talk, and telling yourself you love you.  Tell yourself that you are smart, kind, beautiful, etc...  This is the one way to begin feeling happiness in your life.  The way to begin feeling love in your life.  To begin feeling good, you need to believe you deserve that treatment from your own self first...and it will follow in the other areas of your life.

This is a long post, but it's been something I've struggled with my whole life.  I'm learning how to slowly change myself, and hope to inspire someone else to see this too.  I challenge you to let go of the opinions others have bestowed upon you, and form your own.  Make an agreement with yourself, that you will love you...just as you are...perfectly imperfect!!!

Hugs!

Jennifer